Geordie Joins

Geordie Joins the Nielsen Family

Geordie is a TV freak but also a discriminating viewer. My initial observation revealed a predilection for wildlife shows, especially ones featuring primates, rodents, wolves, cats, and other dogs. Once after catching a view of an armadillo, he sat continuously and quizzically cocking his head right and left-- apparently not certain what to make of it. He has never been to Texas. Was he trying to figure out how to crack this strange creature's shell as if it were some kind sentient walnut?

In our bedroom is a TV mounted onto the wall, hospital-style.

Geordie jumps up onto the bed, looks up at the blank TV and checks back with me: this is his signal for me to turn it on. If I haven't responded instantly, he repeats the command. Even if I decide not to watch, I acquiesce-- just to placate him.

It is imperative that I choose carefully for his viewing pleasure, since shows such as Antiques Roadshow on PBS bore him to sleep. He does not enjoy C-SPAN. Apparently, he's not a political animal.

He barks frantically at the Pillsbury Doughboy, and I encourage him to get a grip, which he does not until the commercial ends. . . He really does want to kill that yeasty manchild!

Geordie has a few favorite movies. Mouse Hunt amuses him and it's worth seeing multiple times. The Ugly Dachshund may have the same trashy appeal to him that it has to me. (I wonder if he also notices that they have some rather well-endowed boy Dachshunds playing the roles of girl Dachshunds. What were they thinking?) Easily discerning the difference between live action and cartoon animation, the latter holds no interest for him.

Geordie definitely recognizes others of his ilk in the movies. Reap the Wild Wind is a rollicking Technicolor sea adventure starring Ray Milland and John Wayne. He lies watching quietly at the foot of the bed until the Romulus, that kindred Cairn terrier, appears. Immediately, he shifts to the standing ovation mode, on his feet and yelling his encouragement. The Uninvited-- another film featuring a Cairn-- provided him with another enjoyable viewing experience.

Geordie appears to hold no preference for color films over black and white ones. Bringing Up Baby has all the elements: action, a young Katharine Hepburn, a leopard (giant cat!), and a feisty (Wire Fox) Terrier with whom to identify. I haven't yet introduced him to film noir, but it is something I must do at some time. How might he react to the Norma Desmond character in Sunset Boulevard? I know she creeps the hell out of me!

Every year, during the Terrier Group at Westminster, he approaches the TV and spars with the other terriers. Agility trials and other dog events are TV Worth Watching.

Geordie prefers young attractive young women (Sarah Michelle Gellar) to old bald dead men (Dwight D. Eisenhower). Case in point: VERY bored with a program about Ike on the History Channel, he sighed, stood up, paused for an instant, jumped off the bed, and exited the room. He'd come back to check, hopeful that Buffy The Vampire Slayer might take the late President's place on the screen.

As an experiment to test his apparent ability to discern human gender, one September, I flipped on the Miss America Pageant. Despite my general distaste for this annual display, I was fascinated by Geordie's reactions and what appeared to be an amazing attention span. Lying on the couch facing forward, he was riveted to the screen. He preferred the swimsuits (head up, staring directly) to the talent (looking but head down resting).

The oddest manifestation to date of Geordie's relationship to the small screen occurred when Larry entered the bedroom where Geordie and I were watching TV-- or rather where I was watching Geordie watch TV...(Maggie, of course, curled up next to me, relaxing as usual; she couldn't care less about TV. She would rather have been reading something by Jane Austen or maybe Barbara Pym.)

After quietly watching whatever unmemorable trash was on, suddenly Geordie was on his feet going full throttle, barking with his entire body. He was harranguing a commercial, and it was merely an advertisement for a power tool.

I didn't get the connection until Larry pointed it out. You see, this was not just ANY tool. It was a DREMEL TOOL! Geordie absolutely abhors having his nails sanded down, and there was that all-too-familiar instrument of torture right in front of his eyes. Somehow he had to cause its annihilation.

Geordie's current television viewing favorites have been obvious ones. The Taco Bell Chihuahua, that Advantage commercial-- with the chorus of cats and dogs. Little Caesar's Pizza. Wait! I see the trend. Geordie likes commercials. Isn't it just TOO TRAGIC for the advertisers that he does not receive an allowance? Now there's a demographic no one ever considers!

He has also seen videos of himself and some puppies he's sired. Clearly enraptured, he doesn't make a move lest he disturb them.

Another note here: When we're at friends' houses, they request that I supervise him. Most don't want paw and mouth prints on their TV's.

I'd still consider him quite avid, but with age, he's becoming a little blasé in his reactions. He may be becoming a little jaded.

The time has come for a 75-inch plasma HD TV...Only state-of-the-art will do. Send donations via PayPal to Geordie at his e-mail address: geordie@magadog.net

GO HOME